Note to readers of Solitude and Desolation

For context and better understanding of the haiku in the series Solitude and Desolation, it is helpful to first read the journal entry for this date in More about... (click link at right) Solitude and Desolation. There the haiku appear below the journal entries in the order they were written, rather than in the order they were published. In this way, the haiku can be read chronologically from top to bottom instead of from bottom to top as they appear in the archive.

September 20, 1995

a deeper silence…
the journal comes to its end
a year it has been

haiku...how many?
more than twenty-five hundred
a lot of verses

and how many posts?
three hundred and forty-eight
quite a lot as well

so gratifying
this daily backward journey
seeing where I was

to where I have come
basic truths remain intact
some perspectives changed

through the years this stands…
solitude...desolation
sacred way of life

The End

 September 14, 1995 (concluded)

leave it to Eckhart
detachment and attachment
links them together

what is detachment
if not ceding attachments
letting go of all

both likes and dislikes
joy, sorrow, honor, disgrace
these and more must go

surrendered at last
nothing left but emptiness
desolation’s home

now the path is forged
solitude...desolation
each day to be lived

September 14, 1995

Paul has a long list
behaviors to put to death
extensive it is

uncleanness...passion
fornication...quick temper
anger...foul language

evil desires
lust which is idolatry
plus a few others

contrast with Jesus
not too keen on listing sins
more a fan of love

also attachments
did talk about seeds dying
giving stuff away

but most about love
or call it loving kindness
either one will do

(to be continued...)

September 13, 1995 (concluded)

not profound really
that I am not what I do
a straw man statement

who ever said that
no one whom I can recall
debate with myself

made to seem thoughtful
sounding so self important
have some humble pie

how about live life
not think and talk about it
more inner quiet

September 13, 1995

transformational
to know perception not real
merely what is sensed

in ways of the world
perception...reality
often do align

yet often do not
with consequences dire...
cannot be trusted

always illusion
in matters of mystery
not to be believed

armed with this knowledge
comes courage to find within
new way of being

(to be continued...)

September 12, 1995 (concluded)

going off to pray
seems strange Jesus would do that
why go off some place

God was there with him
at any time any place...
as an example?

set an example
or be an example...which?
intriguing question

one sounds like acting
the other more like living
being and doing

could be more to it
an example that’s neither
acting nor being

mindful example
doing as demonstration
teach by example

strange how words can work
example for example
tricky they can be

September 12, 1995 (continued…)

thinking that we know
how easily we are fooled...
fooled and fooled again

it seems knowing less
leads us to think we know more
quite topsy-turvy

hard headed perhaps
or intellectual pride
limiting are both

both block mystery
a place where brain cannot go
which it cannot know

where essences are
where unknowing becomes known
where emptiness is

(to be continued...)

September 12, 1995 (continued…)

unconditional…
truly rare this kind of love
peerless privilege

parents love this way
a few others there might be
though none that I know

so grateful am I
to be among those chosen
to have known this love

may I learn from it
how better to love others
as a parent does

(to be continued...)

September 12, 1995 (continued…)

that old deceiver
magnificent cunning brain
font of ideas

figuring out things
arriving at reasons why
theories of all sorts

best of all of course
provider of all answers
mysteries no more

truly seductive
seeming cosmic solutions
dreamed up by the brain

except all are flawed
by finite source limited
flesh and bone fashioned

to know mystery
enter in where it resides
in solitude go

be there in silence
bringing nothing from outside
no thought no image

nothing from the brain
no idea nor concept
not one attachment

thus become empty
open to know the unknown
known without knowing

(to be continued...)

Solitude and Desolation

September 12, 1995

moving out in trust
to keep on, to step forward
a message received

the context changes
but not the message itself
keep on keeping on

old AA adage
meaning sticking to practice
about faith walking

not religious faith
but a faith that is faithful
to a path unknown

no guaranties sought
no goals set no end in sight
this path to be forged

Inspired by Solitude and Desolation

(to be continued...)

As In Everything

friend reminded me…
the spirituality
there is in...baseball

(composed 04/16/24)

September 11, 1995 (concluded)

some tangled thinking
philos with agape snarled
types of love mixed up

the love I describe
for family and loved ones
is not agape

the way of God’s love
only God loves in this way
according to some

maybe it is true
but no doubt about philos
the way humans love

with mind and feelings
being in a human way
a way all its own

September 11, 1995 (continued…)

of the types of love...
eros, philos, agape
much has been written

reading what I wrote
in my journal years ago
most is agape

well should I take care
about eros and philos
disparage them not

each one plays a role
with emotions felt and shared
for those in our lives

one is physical
sexual or romantic
thus is eros felt

friends and family
receive the love called philos
a bond strongly bound

lofty are all three
none to be disregarded
room there is for all

(to be continued...)

September 11, 1995

walking in darkness
travel far and long enough
the path becomes known

so many wants fade
when no longer are they seen
temptations grow weak

I speak not of cars
ice cream, dollars, or gadgets
not of mountain trips

no...wants more subtle...
firm answers and certitudes
soothing assurance

what yields the morrow
to where might this journey lead
how might my life end

to have at least hope
avoidance of severe pain
an end should it come

wants that seem worthy
serenity, sanctity
peace and holiness

righteous in God’s eyes
the apostle whom he loved
seemingly good stuff

a list such as this
wants that are intangible
these fade in darkness

though still they might call
yet still we know they are there
their power recedes

like a spurned lover
whose advances are ignored
soon they grow weary

rather than be feared
a safe haven most welcome
does darkness become

trusting in trusting
embracing what is not known
walking not seeing

(to be continued...)

September 8, 1995 (concluded)

who is it we know…
no one I think...not really
so much is hidden

we see what is shown
behind a curtain some hide
employing deceit

others might lack skill
awkwardly they interact
closed within themselves

that which we do see
limited to what we perceive
woefully obscured

as into ourselves
into others we must go
beyond what is sensed

there we can know them
even as we know ourselves
with them we are one

in this way we know
together all are being
all in one moment

surest of knowledge
this existential bonding
duality gone

September 8, 1995 (continued…)

what defines being…
not being known or unknown
name or description

poverty or wealth
being admired or scorned
acclaimed or condemned

failure or success
powerful or powerless
stalled or on a roll

being smart or dumb
educated or unschooled
high IQ or low

being needs not these
judgements bestowed by others
or assigned by self

thoughts and images
of no substance in themselves
gauzy waves of brain

what defines being…
being itself defines it
nothing else...no more

without description
beyond thought, image, concept
being is being

nothing more to add...
why futilely search outside
for what is within

(to be continued...)

September 8, 1995

what is truly real
is outside of perception
totally beyond

all that is perceived
is not reality...none
not a particle

perception is real
but is not what is perceived
confuse not the two

as people oft do
thus rely on their senses
what their brains tell them

but reality…
in itself alone is known
through direct knowledge

now... it is not there
of a sudden… then it is
as if by magic

known in mystery
in a depth deeper than sense
which must be walked by

(to be continued...)

September 6, 1995 (concluded)

though never perfect
surrender as best I can
no more no less asked

what is given up…
seeking, grasping, holding on
not being enough

wanting something else
not who I am, what I am
wherever I am

controlling others
dictating circumstances
playing director

letting feelings rule
fleeing from those I don’t like
chasing those I do

surfing the surface
afraid to enter inside
find out what is there

but a partial list
enough to paint the picture
of what needs to go

but for what reason…
another thing to let go
always a because

answers I have not
no payoffs am I promised
these too surrendered

to be where I am
in this one moment right now
who I am... enough

what must this be like…
no burdens no chains and such
sounds much like freedom

September 6, 1995 (continued...)

I wrote...Be in Me
many years ago that was
now...be in being

be in being means
nothing more than be awake
aware of being

we all are being
if aware of it or not
all in one moment

yet to be aware
is to also be present
mindful of being

takes only a pause
an instant or an hour
think...I am being

savor the wonder
knowing at this one moment
you are one with all

for all are being
even as you are being
in this all are one

(to be continued...)